13 Eager To Live

from by Mobstyle

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I never been the one to have a leaky eye
You're never going to see me cry or let a little weakness fly
Indeed not I - unemotional, invulnerable
I never I never thought I'd bleed or die
But in recent times my keenest mind
Has begun to realize feelings rising
Deep inside a leech is hiding
With the speech of a singing rhyme

I've always been a part of you but the darker view
Was easier to embrace, easier to replace
Feeling helpless with anger,
Close the doors and stand guard.

But I was comfortable with a broken soul
Then you had to go make me functional
Sociable - never wanted to give a shit
Now my heart's so big my torso explodes
It was safer when I hated everyone in humanity
I was shielded, never yielded, and nobody could damage me
Now I'm broken open and emotional, with no control
Enough to drive a man to insanity

Finally decide to recognize, don't try to hide
My incessant beating is keeping you alive !
You locked me inside, think you're protecting me?
You're wrecking me !
Just set me free and let me be

What's going on? Where did this heart come from?
I didn't know I could be so eager to live!

No Age of Innocence do I remember
Always suspecting myself in danger
Sleuthing for clues Nancy Drew at all times
Suspicious, someone's out to get me.
Why am I always ready for a fight?
Scarred dark heart with no love inside
Every white lie stokes my fire.
Never trust again - knew I was right

Never wanted to soften, too often opted to stifle me
But even the hardest tree can topple in the wild breeze
In a storm so terrible being flexible is a mighty thing
When you don't know, I believe

I believe I only get what I give
Hated so much everything so much it made me sick
My relationships: bursting apart
at the seams. A machine, I need that
Organry from which love springs to start
morphing me. Calm the mind's stormy seas
An abortion please, of thoughts contortin me
I'll turn my sordid dreams into a sort of peace

Apathy atrophies faculties that you need each day
I'm your friend and not your enemy don't push me away
Stop running from your pain; its energy can be your strength
Trust me; I'll show you the way

What's going on? Where did this heart come from?
I didn't know I could be so eager to live!
What's going on? Where did this heart come from?
I didn't know I could be so eager to live!

I am the dream of awakening.

I am the returning of the light.

I am the tough green shoot pushing up through the paved stones.

I am the first kiss of sunlight on the unfurling petals of the snowdrop.

I am the wind which whispers the gentle pull of home to the migratory bird.

I am the drop of ice melting on the mountainside with its great dream of the ocean.

I am the sap rising in the blossom tree just before it reveals its sticky buds to the sky;

I am the riotous celebration humming away beneath the earth’s mantle of frozen sleep.

I am the rousing of the bee from its winter slumber, and the soft pad of the mother-wolf’s paw on the snow as she prepares to birth her pups.

I am hope, potential, rebirth and promise. I am the kindling breath which transforms the flicker of inspiration in your creative core into a blazing torch.

Give me the silent crescent moon rising over the sea, and I will build you a bridge of silver light so you can walk up and lie in it.

Give me the frost-hardened wilderness, and I will breathe radiant green life over it.

Give me the healer, the writer, the crafts person and the storyteller, and I will replenish her essence and make her new again.

I am Brigid, Bast, Inanna and Hestia. I am the fierce protectress of the sacred fire.

Tonight I bestow my gifts of power and courage at the hearth of your soul:

Power to step out of the shadows of self-doubt and negativity which have held you in darkness for too long,

Power to shed all that which no longer serves you, and courage to clear your heart and mind for the dawn that awaits you.

I am the time to honor your unique gifts for their true worth and to protect and nurture your creative self as you would a child.

I am the deep longing of the spirit which refuses to be consumed by a narrative of fear and chooses instead to place itself vivaciously on the side of love.

I am the stirring in your belly which knows exactly what you are capable of — and that it’s time the world found out.

I am the fire within which will not be contained any longer.

I am the quickening; the serpent uncoiling; Imbolc.

I am the dream of awakening.


from Mythology, released March 25, 2016



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